To transfer or not?

So we got the call about 3.30pm and I knew straight away things weren't good when the embryologist started saying "ideally, today we like to see the cells compacting so you can't really count them".

Our embryos on Day 4 are 1@5 1@6 1@9cells. The 9 cell one would have been ok if the cells had started to compact but they haven't yet. Also they are all still graded -3.

So it's not the good news we were hoping for but there is a glimmer of hope. We are to go into the clinic for 8am tomorrow and speak to an embryologist to see if there has been any development over night, and decide if we want to transfer any of them.

At this point we have decided that if any of them have moved on we might transfer them even if they are behind.

Two days Old

So the embryos are two days old today and ideally they should be 4 cells by now.

We got the call at 3.30pm when we were with guests so poor hubby had to wait another hour before we could have a discussion. All three have developed and 2 are now 4 cells and 1 is now 5 cells. I was really happy about this until the embryologist explained that they all have fragmentation and are grade -3 which is below average. This left me with mixed feelings because it is great that they have all developed but it is worrying that they are poor quality. After all the supplements I've been taking I'm gutted, I was really hoping we had quality over quantity this time.

I have looked back at the results from our last two IVF cycles at this stage:

IVF #3: We had 4 @4 cell and 2 @3 cell. 2 were grade 2 which is good, and 4 were grade 3 which is average. So slightly better than this current cycle.


IVF #4: One embie managed to divide to the four cell stage but there is lots of fragmentation, and the other tried to divide, managed to but one cell burst it's membrane. They were both graded -3. So slightly worse than this current cycle.

Now although cycle #3 didn't make it to a positive end result, it was a much more positive cycle. We had 6 fertilised embryos and by day 4 we had 3 embryos making it to the compaction stage (which is the stage where they either 'switch on' genetically or don't make it) and 1 embryo had almost finished this stage and the other 2 are a bit behind. This gives me some hope because at least one of the average embryos made it to compaction at least.


IVF #4 was a more negative cycle with only two eggs fertilising and one hardly developed into an embryo and the other stopped developing by Day 3.

So this cycle, IVF #5 seems to be a mix of the two. I'm feeling more positive than negative though which is a good thing! No more information until Friday afternoon now when they next look at them - everything crossed!

Waiting for the Fertilisation Report

Even though I was really groggy and tired after yesterday, I couldn't sleep. So many things were swimming around in my mind, such as were the three eggs all viable, how many will fertilise, and what will we do if this is the end of cycle 5!

In the morning while waiting for the call, I nearly drove myself mad playing out telephone conversations with the embryologist in my mind:

"Hello this is the embryologist, I've good news! Did they tell you how many eggs you got yesterday? Yes that's correct, three, and all three/two/one/none (delete as appropriate) have fertilised!"

or

"Hello this is the embryologist, great news - all your eggs have fertilised and split into many so you have loads!"

The actual call came around 10.30am and as soon as I answered, I found myself listening to the inflections in the embryologists voice, to see if that would give me a clue as to whether what she was about to say was good or not, I guessed not. I was wrong! We did get three viable eggs and all three have fertilised!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The embryologist said that she understands that we have strong views on what we want to do with our embryo's and I agreed and said that yes, we do and we would be wanting to take them to Day5 again and we understand the risks. We had a conversation about why we wanted to do this and she explained the alternatives. She is going to phone tomorrow about 3pm to tell us how they are doing. Fingers crossed and positive thoughts!

Egg Collection Day Results

So there were only three of us having EC today and I was third. The first bit of good news was that it was my favourite FS doing the procedure. The second bit of good news was that they collected three eggs! We won't know if all of the eggs are viable until tomorrow when we get the fertilisation report but it gives us some hope.

They did a trial ET and the cathetar passed straight through my cervix without any problems but they are still going to prescribe me Temazipan to relax me for the procedure anyway.

So I'm a bit tired and have a tiny bit of bleeding from my cervix but I'm happy and even feel a bit positive!

Final Follicle Growth Scan

Today's scan was as eventful as ever, one follicle had grown and one had not, and two others had appeared!

The nurse was really nice today and she kept apologising because the scan had hurt me - the endometriosis on my left ovary was irritated by the scan to the point were I nearly shot off the bed with the pain and it made my eyes water!

One follicle is 21mm and ready for EC but the other was measuring 14mm which means no growth. So I have to carry on with the stimm drugs today and tomorrow but do the trigger shot at 9:30pm tomorrow night. Then no drugs on Sunday and EC is Monday morning. Guessing by my trigger shot time, I think I will be the first to go into theatre (trigger shot is normally done 36 hours before collection). Hubby was joking saying that they are probably thinking 'get the easy one out of the way first'!

There were two other follicles at 7mm and 9.5mm which are probably too small to catch up in time for  EC. But on a positive note, my womb lining was 11mm which is great!

Support from an Angel

Hubby is an angel in disguise I'm sure!

Being so upset by how badly our 5th IVF had started I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I was trying to stay composed and go to work as normal. I think I was actually in shock - I've been trying to be so positive about things for so long now, and not much about our infertility upsets me too deeply anymore, or so I thought. I didn't even want to talk to Hubby about it, even though he tried to get me to open up.

I texted him from work to say how sorry I was for my moody behaviour and explained how upset I was and I didn't mean to take it out on him. I arrived home from work to find he'd tidied up, cleaned the carpet and bought red glass candle lanterns and lit them around the room - it all looked and smelt wonderful. Also, before he even got my message he had been out shopping to buy me little treats to try and cheer me up!

I got:

• a card with 'This is a Hug' on it with a lovely message inside
• a Winnie The Pooh fridge magnet shopping list
• a Winnie The Pooh notebook
• Valentine's Day DVD
• The Backup Plan DVD
• A furry dog bookmark
• a clip-on book night light
• a box of my favourite Guylian chocolates

Also with every present (which he'd wrapped up) he had written a word on post-its that made up the sentence:

Everything will be alright in the end ...

Follicle Development Scans and Decisions to Make!

After taking all the supplements for ages I had high hopes for this cycle only to have them all dashed at the first scan. I had the grand total of two follicles - one on each ovary! They were 13mm and 14mm so at least growing at the same rate, whoopidoo something is going right! The womb lining was 8.4mm.

The nurse said I should start the Cetrotide injections to stop me ovulating but I just asked if there was any point. She said that I was on the highest dose and I wouldn't recruit any more follicles at this stage, then she gave me and Hubby a few minutes to talk about things but we couldn't decide. The nurse said we may as well make an appointment for another scan in two days time and we could always cancel that if we decided to abandon the cycle.

Hubby and I talked about it and he believed that we should carry on because even if it is a small chance we should take it. I however, thought that we should recoup some of the money we had paid and use it to try again on a different cycle.

We talked, or should I say Hubby talked and I just moped about - I think I was in shock and I was devastated. We decided to continue with the drugs and go to the next scan and see how we felt.

The second scan was a bit traumatic as the nurse took a while to find the follicles! Not what you want when there is only two anyway! Also I have an endometriosis cyst on my left ovary and the drugs have irritated it and scanning that side was painful. Anyway, the follicles had grown to 15mm and 16mm and the womb lining is 8.7mm so all is progressing as it should be.

Next scan in two days (Friday) and we should be ready for egg collection a couple of days later (Monday).

So we have to hope that our two follicles contain eggs, and that the eggs are normal, and that the sperm fertilise them ok, that they make it to day 5 so that I can have a blastocyst transfer and be in with a chance!