To POAS or not to POAS?

With the arrival of my period a new cycle begins and although sad, it has to be seen as a fresh start - another chance. Cycle days 1-9 are the boring part of a cycle while we wait for AF to go and the next part to begin. Then as it gets to CD14-21 we know that we should POAS (pee on a stick) and start baby making.


Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPK) / Ovulation tests detect a rise in the Luteinizing Hormone (LH) known as the LH surge. This normally happens 24-36 hours before ovulation and this is the best time to have sex when you are trying to conceive. But there are many different types of sticks on the market so how do you choose? And at what point in your cycle should you to start them?


The expensive ones:

Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test

- Cost £16.29 + £1.50 shipping for 7 in a box, so if you ovulate later than you expected you can run out of tests
+ Good fun because when you get your LH surge you get a smiley face
+ You don't have to hold your pee for hours to get a result
+ You can either pee directly onto the stick or use a cup and dip it

The cheap ones:

+ Cost £0.99 +£0.20 for 5 so you can use loads really cheaply and not miss OV

- You have to pee in a cup and dip the stick

- They're not always reliable, the last ones I had had broken lines or no lines on them sometimes!

- You have to hold your pee for hours and drink only little amounts during this time to get an accurate result


I used to have pretty regular cycles of 29 days but with all the IUI and IVF cycles and the 2 operations my cycles have gone slightly irregular and have been between 26 and 35 days. So when do I start the OPKs? This is one advantage of the cheap tests - I can start them early in the cycle around CD9 and keep doing them until I get the two matching lines that tell me it's baby-making time. As this is the first cycle after IVF I've decided to just use the cheap tests because this cycle could be a long one as my body settles down after all the drugs. Then next cycle I will use a mix of the two types of tests, starting with the cheap ones and using the expensive ones to confirm the LH surge.


So why are we even worrying when ovulation is when we're not doing IVF this month? Because every month we must try, you never know, we could have a natural miracle. Every month is seen as an opportunity and you can't turn your wanting a baby off, even for one cycle.

Costs

So how much does IVF cost? Depending on where you live you may be entitled to 0 - 3 free cycles. We live in Warwickshire and our PCT will pay for one free IVF cycle and 3 free IUI cycles or it did at the time that we started! Once we had finished our one free IVF cycle we had to pay for everything. Our current spend for one round of IVF is:

£120      Consultation (with free parking!)
£2500    IVF
£150      HFEA Fees
£1000    Drugs (Approx. as the price for each fluctuates)
£17        Parking for visits for 4 scans and EC and ET
£free     Follow up letter (or £120 for follow up consultation)
£42        Petrol - 25miles from ours to the hospital for 6 visits
£114      4 acupuncture sessions (1 free)

Vitamins for me for 1 month (I have priced some of these to include offers which I normally get like 3 for 2):
£40        Wheatgrass
£3          Melatonin
£17.50   DHEA
£6.83     Pregnacare Conception multivits
£7.33     CO Q10
£26.50   MorEPA
£0.89     Vit E
£0.46     Folic Acid
£15.49   Flurodix

Vitamins for Hubby for 1 month:

£6.83    Wellman Conception multivitamin
£2.54    Folic acid
£1.35    Vitamin C
£0.89    Vitamin E
£1.78    Maca
£1.67    Selenium
£2.63    L'arginine
£0.60    Iron
£0.60    Zinc
£13.25  MorEPA
£5.40    Garlic capsules



£4098.54   Grand Total

Hubby's Swimmers ~o ~o ~o

I call my Husband 'almost perfect' because he is! If he didn't do tiny little things like leave dirty socks next to the telephone for days, then he would be 100% perfect - he is an angel sent to look after me.

When we first went for fertility investigations they tested Hubby's swimmers and we were pleased that he had a good sperm count and normal motility and morphology. But then they asked us if he played rugby or some other contact sport but he doesn't. They thought he might have had an injury to his testicles, which can sometimes happen. It turns out that he has 55% Sperm anti-bodies and the normal range is 0%!! We asked what this meant in relation to our fertility and they said it just meant that his sperm is sticky or can clump together which can affect the morphology but his swimmers were still good enough for IVF rather than ICSI.

During IVF #3 while I was coming round from the anesthetic used for EC, Hubby was told that his swimmers weren't good enough for IVF and they needed to do ICSI. Poor Hubby was shocked and mortified. He was told that he could try to give another sample if we definetly wanted to do IVF. He was trying to explain this to a me when the embryologist came back and said they'd made a mistake and his sample was good enough! Apparently they take a tiny bit of the sample and check it and they just happened to take a bad part of the sample! Phew!

After our IVF #3 cycle we decided to maybe look elsewhere for answers and went for a consultation at a clinic in London. At this appointment Hubby was advised to clean his pipes every other day! Apparently this keeps swimmers fresh and gets rid of old and damaged ones which can affect the good ones. The clinic also suggested that he get tested for sperm fragmentation. Luckily I persuaded Hubby not to get this test after he found out that the test cost £400-£600, was relatively new, and if you did have fragmentation there is no cure anyway apart from taking high doses of vitamin E and C. He now takes these vitamins anyway.

Hubby has always been very healthy but now he is like a saint in his quest for the best swimmers to aid our positive cycle. He has been caffine free for a couple of years, only drinking rooibos tea. He researches everything we should and shouldn't be eating, and cooks delicious meals that even include healthy versions of naughty food like chocolate brownies!

His latest research means that he now taking:

• Wellman Conception multivitamin
  
• Folic acid
  
• Vitamin C
  
• Vitamin E
  
• Maca
  
• Selenium
  
• L'arginine
  
• Iron
  
• Zinc
  
• Omega 3
  
• Garlic capsules

He is currently considering Melatonin after we found some studies about it:
http://www.natural-remedies-review.com/melatonin-for-fertility.html

If babies were given out for effort and positivity, Hubby would have won us our own football and cheerleading team! He's what keeps me going.

Enforced Cold Turkey

So on Sunday evening the garden centre that is 1 mile down the road from us got robbed. But as part of the robbery they ransacked the telephone junction box and knocked all of us in the local area off the grid until this evening - that's 5 days without a landline and more importantly the Internet!

So I couldn't write my blog and I had an entry all ready to post. I couldn't keep up with all my friends and family on Facebook. I couldn't play online games. I couldn't post on my regular forums. I couldn't print the recipe I saw on a morning programme and I'd promised to make it for Hubby and Mum who is visiting. I couldn't research things for our new house - a washing machine, fridge, freezer and tumble dryer are all needed very soon!

I got up each morning and sat on the couch drinking my caffeine-free Earl Grey tea and listened to the silence. Normally I would be clicking on all my favourite sites and seeing what I had missed over night! And the boredom with all this rain - hurry up BT, I can't stand it any longer! Did I get any text messages as promised to update me on the situation - NO! I checked the phone regularly but only silence could be heard until this afternoon when Hubby comes home from work and picks up the phone and says it's working!

New things to try - Part 3 : Melatonin

Melatonin is a natural hormone that is made in the pineal gland, when darkness falls it makes us sleepy and less alert. Synthetic melatonin has been used for years by people who want to avoid jet lag and by shift workers, as it can be used to alter your circadian clock.

Now what has this got to do with fertility? Well a study released in 2010 has shown that melatonin is an anti-oxidant that can help the quality of a woman's eggs:

'High levels of oxidising agents - a type of chemical compound - in the follicular fluids surrounding the egg indicate if a woman has low quality oocytes. These can 'stress' and damage the oocyte. The team took one of these agents known as 8-OHdG and measured its levels in follicular fluid samples. Levels of melatonin, which is known to have anti-oxidising effects, were also measured.

The team found that, as melatonin concentration in the follicular fluids naturally increased, the level of 8-OHdG decreased, leading them to believe melatonin was linked to the reduction of the oxidising agents. They confirmed this finding in mice, and discovered that adding melatonin seemed to reduce the damage to the egg caused by the agents.

(www.bionews.org.uk)

I have also read that melatonin should be taken alongside DHEA and I will also take Vitamin E supplement with it. (www.lef.org/dhea/ & www.encognitive.com)

There is also some proof that Sperm quality can be helped by melatonin but I will be discussing what Hubby is taking tomorrow!

Melatonin - arriving in a week along with my DHEA from the USA.

New things to try - Part 2 : DHEA

Freshly ordered and it's way from the USA - DHEA!
DHEA is the hormone Dehydrepiandosterone that is created by the adrenal glands. DHEA is converted into androgens (male hormones) or estrogens (female hormones) depending on the person’s own sex, age, individual condition and other individual factors. Levels of DHEA can decline with age in both men and women. So by taking DHEA you could be helping the aging process. According to ironmanmagazine DHEA is "often referred to as the mother of all hormones".

What's it got to do with fertility? I like this explanation from www.centerforhumanreprod.com

DHEA Beneficial Effects
The investigators at CHR have been using the mild male hormone dehydroepiandrosterone DHEA now for a number of years very successfully in women with diminished ovarian reserve (DOR), whether their ovarian impairment is due to advanced age or premature ovarian aging (POA). In doing so, we have been able to demonstrate that in such women DHEA supplementation has quite remarkable beneficial effects (see Table 1), which all can be summarized as rejuvenating ovarian function

Table 1: EFFECTS OF DHEA IN WOMEN WITH DOR
Increases egg (oocyte) and embryo counts
Improves egg and embryo quality
Increases euploid (chromosomally normal) embryos available
Speeds up time to pregnancy in fertility treatment
Increases spontaneously conceived pregnancy
Improves IVF success rates
Improves cumulative pregnancy rates in patients under treatment
Decreases spontaneous miscarriage rates

Table 2: POSITIVE SIDE EFFECTS OF DHEA
Improved overall feeling
Physically stronger
Improved sex drive
Mentally sharper
Better memory

But DHEA is a hormone and you should not take DHEA if you have any of the following - diabetes, psychiatric conditions, or liver problems, or are at risk for cancer. Some of the possible side effects can include:

• fine facial hair
• a slight deepening of voice
• acne, particularly on the back
• perspiration
• hair thinning/loss

There is loads of information on DHEA but here are a few links I looked at:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dhea/NS_patient-dhea
http://www.lef.org/dhea/side_effects_of_taking_dhea.htm
http://www.dhea.com/pages.php?pageid=9

New things to try - Part 1 : Wheatgrass

Hubby reminded me of an important fact yesterday - that the next three months are important as that is how long it takes for my new set of eggs to get ready. The cycle of an egg is around 90 days
(natural-fertility-info.com/increase-egg-health)

So Hubby and I have done some research and have decided to try a few new things for the next three months. Hubby's idea to help me is wheatgrass. Check out these benefits according to www.frozenwheatgrass.co.uk

* It is a tonic for the liver
* It cleanses the colon
* Washes drug deposits from the body
* Helps sugar problems
* Reduces Varicose veins
* Gargle wheatgrass for a sore throat
* Promotes regularity
* Removes heavy metals from the body
* Arrests growth of unfriendly bacteria
* Gives a tangible energy boost
* Helps skin problems such as eczema & psoriasis

Plus it must be great for fertility as shown in "40 Reasons to Drink Wheatgrass" #10:

10. Farmers in the Midwest who have sterile cows and bulls put them on wheatgrass to restore fertility. (The high magnesium content in chlorophyll builds enzymes that restore the sex hormones.)

(www.globalyoga.biz/Nutrition)

So on Wednesday morning our 2 week supply of frozen wheatgrass shots arrives.

P.S. There was no change to Minus the embryo and so I stop taking the bum bullets and wait for AF to arrive and we move forward as positively as we can.

Minus is not a Morula

So we got the call and there was no change to the one cell embryo. The other, 'Minus' had only progressed slightly to a 5 or 6 cell embryo when really today it should have been showing signs of compaction and becoming a Morula.
So they will ring us in the morning with the final result so that we are 100% sure.

So we are obviously gutted as this cycle turned out to be our worst! But we are already full of plans for the next - how about that for positivity!

Research

Today has been one of those days when I can do nothing but research online. I have looked at all sorts of things in attempt to convince myself that I am doing something towards our goal.

* I have looked at success stories of women who get their BFP even though their embryo(s) were poor quality.

* I have looked at the different protocols and drug regimes to see if there is something that might help me produce more and better quality eggs.

* I have looked at treatment at different clinics in the UK and abroad.

* I have more or less decided on taking the supplement DHEA (more to follow on this)

We haven't given up on our -3 though (now nicknamed 'minus') and we hope that the phone call tomorrow brings positive news!

Embryo Report Day 2

So we got the phone call to tell us how our 2 embryos are doing, and it wasn't good news. One embie managed to divide to the four cell stage but there is lots of fragmentation, and the other embie is doing even worse - it tried to divide, managed to but one cell burst it's membrane. They have both been graded -3 which is nearly the lowest and they don't forsee them progressing much past this. They asked if I wanted to go in tomorrow for a Day 3 transfer and I said NO! Is there any point in having such bad ones put back?

So they don't check on them tomorrow but will look at them on Friday to see if they have developed any more.

Some good news today though - we managed to go on our hotair balloon ride on our 8th attempt! It was fantastic, so peaceful floating around. You wouldn't believe it though, we landed in a field and the farmer comes racing up on his quad bike with his two dogs and says you can't land here, you better take off again! Long-story-short, the hotair balloon staff had to make a deal and bought the farmer off for £80 even though he wanted £150.

Fertilisation Report

Today can be the worst day of IVF - the day you get told how many of your eggs have fertilised. Waiting for the phone call from the embryologist is agony.

Today we had the call earlier than expected and the embryologist started off with "Good news!". Relief soared through me and I smiled at Hubby. Then she checked that I had been told how many eggs they collected yesterday - five. Then she said out of the five, four were mature enough to try to fertilise. Out of the four, two had fertilised over night.

I sat in shock - this was NOT good news!

She went on, "so we'll see you tomorrow at 11.30am for a 2 day transfer, bring your nightie, dressing gown and slippers. Do you have any questions?"
I just said no, I'll have to talk to my Husband.

Anger and upset flooded my body. I've been through all this discomfort, pain and emotion to end up with the worst cycle so far! We had such high hopes.

Well I'm not going in.

I waited until this afternoon, as I know they are really busy in the morning, and I rang them back. I told them that we do not consider 2 embryo's 'good news' as we were hoping to have more so that we could aim for a five day transfer. I said that we would rather not come in tomorrow and that we would like to see if they make it to Saturday.
The embryologist explained that if you have enough embryo's they like to take them to blasto so that they can decide which are the best to put back but with me only having two, that didn't come into it as they were the only choice. She asked if we were prepared to possibly have none left to put back and I said we were.

The protocol now is that they will look at our 2 embryo's tomorrow afternoon to see how they are doing and grade them - they like to see them at the 4 cell stage on Day 2. They grade them based on how symmetrical/equal the cells have divided and if there is any fragmentation - this is when little bits of the cell break off as they divide.
Then they leave them in the incubators on Day 3 and look at them on Day 4 (Friday this week)to see if they have reached the compaction stage. Day 5 they should have compacted and turned into blastocysts:

this website explains the stages really well:
IVF Tutorials

And this website explains our reasoning behind waiting:
IVF Authority blog

So now we pray harder than ever that we have made the right choice!

Egg Collection

We couldn't sleep last night - nerves and excitement! It was nearly midnight before we dropped off and we had to get up at 6.20am. So, tired but ready we made our way to the clinic for 8am.

I was in the 2nd cubical, which meant I would be 2nd into theatre. There were only 3 couples in for EC today and I heard through the curtains that this was the other 2 couples 1st go! Not like us old pro's on our 4th.

I filled in the paper work and got dressed into my lovely hospital gown. Soon the anesthetist came to see me, Hubby told him that I need to be told exactly when he is putting me to sleep as I don't like it and may panic. Then I was given 2 oral anti-biotics to take and one rectal anti-B along with a rubber glove to insert in the privacy of the loo.

Next I sat reading The Secret when my favourite Dr came to speak to me as he would be doing the procedure, and then my favourite nurse arrived and said she was the theatre nurse today!

Hubby had brought his pocket video camera! It is a HD one and so he got some lovely close ups of me with no make-up on etc but luckily he wasn't there when I first came around from the anesthetic - he was busy doing his bit!

The first lady went in and was back in less than half an hour and then it was my turn. I kissed Hubby and walked off to theatre. In the theatre the anesthetist was as good as his word and told me exactly what he was doing 1. flushing water through to make sure the tube was in the right place 2. injecting a pain killer 3. injecting the anesthetic. He told me to close my eyes and think nice thoughts but I opened them about 3 times to prove I wasn't asleep yet (the nurse told me later I shocked them!).

So I woke up a bit later in pain, well 45 mins, as the Dr had nicked my cervix which bled and they had to put a stitch in - not part of the plan! The nurse came with pain killers and told me that we had 5 eggs. We were ok with this - a handful could be enough if they all fertilise.

Hubby went and collected the steroids from the hospital pharmacy so we have them ready to start at embryo transfer - well these are the official 20mg ones. Then the nurse showed us how the gestone jabs were to be done - they are intra-muscular, jabbed in the thigh muscle, and do you know what, it wasn't that bad.

A cup of tea, several glasses of water, 2 biscuits, chocolate buttons and a packet of starburst later and I was good to go.

I was the last to leave because of the bleed but apart from feeling a bit weak and tired I'm fine.

Preparation

So tomorrow is a big day! We have to be at the clinic for 8am and seeing as how I had to do the trigger shot at 9:30pm last night, I think I will be one of the first in for EC. So tonight I need to get a few things ready for tomorrow:

* Freshly washed fluffy pink dressing gown - for covering the awful hospital gown you have to wear, and to keep your bum hidden when walking to theatre in said gown, which is open at the back.

* Deodorised slippers - for walking back and forth to the toilet -many times as the nerves kick in and for antibiotic bum bullet insertion etc. Also to walk to theatre in.

* ipod and book - to keep me distracted from what's going on with other couples around me behind the curtains. Also to keep me from hearing the Drs and nurses footsteps when they come to take me to theatre. Also to help with the agonising wait for Hubby to do his bit and make it back in time before I go to theatre!

* wetwipes - just very handy.

* hand mirror - to see my frightened face before theatre and my scary, make-up free face before we leave the clinic.

* comb - to help me look half normal before leaving the clinic, and also hair brushing soothes me.

* loose clothes - after having all my bits poked around and feeling woosie after theatre, I need clothes that I can put on without bending too much and that don't dig in to my sore bits.

* mobile phone - so I can access the internet for last minute panic research.

* Gestone vials - all ready for the painful jabs, one on alternate days to help my progesterone levels stay up and thus keep womb lining in tact.

Also Hubby takes a camera to take random photo's of me to document the momentus occasion - these will never be seen by anyone! But on the flip side he normally goes and gets me sweets to eat for when I come back from theatre, yum yum!

Trigger Shot

So I was instructed by the clinic to do the HCG injection at 9.30pm tonight. "You're not out partying or anything are you?" joked the nurse - well yes actually! One of my old friends is getting married and asked me to go on her Hen Night.

Shamefully I saw the HCG jab as my get-out-early clause because for several reasons I was dreading it:

Problem #1 - A few years ago I was known for being a right party animal BUT because the Hen Night was an hour away I would be driving and not drinking, so no random lies about why I'm not drinking.

Problem #2 - What do I tell people when I leave at practically the beginning of the night? Well my good friend stepped in for me and told them I was off to a wedding reception that was booked well before her Hen Night.

Problem #3 - How do I avoid the babies/children/family situation talk with people I haven't seen for years? This was the one worrying me the most! But luckily because there were so many people to catch up with and so little time, we didn't get past the 'haven't seen you for years where are you living now?'

So I said goodbye to my good friend, sneaked away and rushed home for the trigger shot. And you know what, I was sad - I was having a fun time, catching up with nice people who I used to work with, even though I wasn't drinking and was avoiding the BIG question!

Final Follicle Scan

Left ovary has 5 follicles at 20mm, 19mm, 18mm, 14mm and 11mm
Right ovary has 2 follicles at 11mm.

So not what we were hoping for - at the moment 3 are ready, as they are over 17mm. The 14mm could catch up and contain a mature egg but it is doubtful that 11mm follies will catch up.

Let's focus on the positives - my womb lining is very good and I should have at least three mature eggs.
I have the whole of today and tomorrow for the smaller follicles to grow before I do the trigger shot at 9.30pm on Saturday evening - so you never know I could get a couple more.

No matter what I'm staying positive! When I go to the clinic at 8am on Monday for EC, this is what I visualise will happen: I will be told that I have mature, quality eggs, which overnight will fertilise and within 5 days they will become perfect blastocysts. The two blastocycsts that are put back inside me will become my babies!

NEGATIVITY IS NOT ALLOWED!!!

Excitement?

So it could be the final follicle scan tomorrow. How am I feeling? Well you'd think I'd be worrying about whether the follicles have grown and if they have, are they more or less the same size. But no, I'm being positive and I know they will have grown, even my two slow ones on the right side. In fact, if anything, I'm slightly nervous of them getting too big and becoming too mature. I found lots of info about follicle sizes, for example: -

The egg within a follicle is usually mature – and ready for harvest- when the follicle measures between 16 and 20 millimeters. http://www.crhivf.com/IVF/IVFStimulation.aspx

A lead follicle should be at least 16 mm on an hMG like Pergonal, it should be at least 18 mm on a recombinant FSH like Gonal-F, and should be about 22 mm on Clomid. Occasionally Gonal-F can produce mature eggs in smaller follicles... http://www.inciid.org/faq.php?cat=infertility101&id=1#18

When the largest follicles reach approximately 18 mm in diameter, the woman takes a shot of hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin - brand name Profasi, Pregnyl, or Ovidrel) http://fertilitytoday.org/frequent_questions.html

So my plan tomorrow is to write down the exact sizes of follies and use the excuse that my Hubby couldn't be with me and he will want details. I will then discuss any concerns I have about sizes, and hopefully I will be booking in for EC on Monday morning.

So I'm excited but hope to be more calm about things tomorrow after the scan. I've not been helping myself though - yesterday I was naughty and read some online forums to see how different ladies have got on with cycling this month. This is naughty because you can't help but compare how well or not so well you are doing in comparison to them. This is silly really because every woman's body is unique and we all have different and varying degrees of problems. We could be various ages, weights and on different drug protocols. But still I read on and see how many follicles they had on the same stim day as me, how many eggs they got from EC and how many fertilised. Then I wait to read how their embryos divide and if any make it to blastocyst and if so what grade were they! And of course the outcome!

Well I've only done that once this time and I won't be doing it again. All my focus is on MY cycle! So with that in mind here is my mantra for tonight:

I have my 9 follicles, they are growing evenly and will contain mature eggs
I have my 9 follicles, they are growing evenly and will contain mature eggs
I have my 9 follicles, they are growing evenly and will contain mature eggs
I have my 9 follicles, they are growing evenly and will contain mature eggs...

Follicle scan # 2

The second scan went well today. I now have 7 follicles on my left and still have 2 on the right ovary. The ones on the left have grown and are around 14-16mm but the 2 on the left have only grown about 1mm to 9.5mm. (I didn't get given exact measurements this time.)
My womb lining has grown to 10.7mm so it should be a lovely velvet cushion for when the embryos get put back. So the last scan is on Friday and they think I will be ready for EC on Monday.

I had to buy more drugs today to keep me going until Monday because this cycle has taken slightly longer than last cycle. I nearly lost all positivity when buying these as they cost so much and I had to pay £28 dispensing charge as well which I never knew about before.

Also I thought I should note down the vitamins and drugs I'm taking daily at this point:

Drugs:
Gonal F 450 x 1
Cetrotide 0.25 x1
Steroid 16mg x 1

Vits:
Conception multi-vitamin x 1
Folic acid 400mg x 2
Omega-3 750mg x 2
CO-Q10 100mg x 1
Aspirin 75mg x 1

Dr Husband at your service!

My Hubby is great when it comes to anything medical. A few years back I had to have my wisdom teeth removed under sedation and I was petrified that I had to be awake while they were yanking out my teeth! So the hospital let my Hubby come into the room with me - he was great and held onto me, well that was until he said "Can you feel anything?" and I said "only you squeezing my toe off my foot!"
So when it comes to IVF my Hubby loves to play Doctor. He's very precise with the needles and not even the tiniest of air bubbles is going anywhere near me when he's around. So what happens when he's not around?

Well during my 1st ever cycle Hubby did the jabs until he had to go away for work. The night before he went he made me do them with him supervising, so that I was all ready when alone. We also had a DVD and an instruction leaflet I could refer to if I needed to. So it came to the allotted jabbing hour 9pm and I got everything ready. I went to inject and I realised that the syringe was only half full - how did this happen? I thought back to everything I had done in preparation and I couldn't work out where I'd gone wrong, so I injected it anyway. Then I sat around worrying until it hit me - I hadn't flicked the top of the water vial and half of the water was it the top part that you break off! Oh no - surely now I'd given myself a stronger dose, what would happen? Would I be ok? I rang the out of hours number that the clinic give you and it put me through to the gyny ward at the hospital - I started crying on the phone to the nurse as I told her what I'd done. And did I get reassurance? "Well it's done now, just remember to flick the top of the water vial in future"! Thanks!

Obviously I was ok and you'd think that would have taught me a lesson but oh no - there are many more episodes like that! Take this morning for instance. I'm on my 4th IVF cycle and Dr Hubby is away but went through the injections with me again yesterday. So this morning I get the first needle and get rid of the air bubbles and stick it in me and think wow I'm really getting good at these, that hardly hurt at all. Then I realise that I hadn't set it to the right amount and I had to pull it out, set it and jab again! Then I remembered that I should have put a new needle on the syringe to jab again! So I'm sitting here with a very stingy tummy after the three rather than two jabs! I'm also planning to make sure that Dr Hubby is around for all my gestone injections as these are done with a bigger needle in the bum - I don't want to get them wrong!

Weight Gain during IVF

Loads of ladies complain about how much weight they put on during an IVF cycle. I myself had put on about 2 or 3 lbs during the last cycle. I found a really good explanation for it though which is particularly true to me:

Weight Gain: While the use of fertility drugs and corticosteroids such as dexamethasone, prednisolone and prednisone can result in fluid retention and a temporary redistribution of body fat by altering the body’s hormone and fluid balance, it is not a cause of permanent weight gain. The latter is far more likely to result from emotional stress associated with infertility and ART that often results in overeating. Besides, many women undergoing IVF are advised (often erroneously) to severely cut down on their activity thereby reducing their caloric expenditure.

http://www.ivfauthority.com/2011/01/ivf-commonly-asked-questions-fears-and_20.html

During an IVF cycle I don't do as much exercise as I normally do because I feel more tired than usual and there are other silly reasons stopping me, such as I don't do my usually swimming because in Chinese medicine this can cool the uterus and you want a warm womb. Also I don't do full-on hip swinging in Zumba in case I jiggle my follicles too much! These aren't excuses not to exercise, they're just genuine little worries that I can't shake out of my head - I want to do everything right and take no chances.

With regards to food, as I've already mentioned, my Hubby makes sure I eat healthily but I do have to eat a lot more than I normally do to make sure I get lots of protein and I struggle with that.

Overall there's no need to worry - this is going to be my positive cycle and so I can start on my bump early if I want!

First Follicle Scan

Today's scan went well - yipee! The nurse was lovely, she showed and told me everything I needed. She even gave me a print out of my follicle sizes:

Left 6 @ 10.4mm, 9.9mm, 9.3mm, 9.3mm, 8.3mm, 7.7mm
Right 2 @ 8.3mm, 8.3mm

Womb Lining @ 9.6mm

Womb lining is already at an acceptable thickness and considering I'd only had 4 injections, the follicles are doing well. They need to get to above 17mm before I am ready for the trigger shot and the EC. I have scans booked for Wednesday and Friday to see how they're growing but they think EC will be next Monday.

I started the Cetrotide today to stop me ovulating by myself before EC. This jab always make my stomach sting and go red and bumpy for an hour or so!

Immunes

Stim day 5 tomorrow and I have my first scan to see how the follicles and womb lining are doing. Also I will be starting steroids. The steroids are to help combat higher than normal levels of Natural Killer Cells. I haven't been tested for this but because I have had 2 miscarriages and 3 failed IVF cycles it is a possibility that this could be the problem. So one basic treatment is steroids - prednisolone in my case. (It may be that I have other immune problems but the tests cost a lot of money and are quite controversial.)

"There is currently much debate going on in the scientific community about the role of the immune system in promoting or preventing a healthy pregnancy. There is a view pioneered by late Dr Alan Beer that the products of an activated immune system could damage the placenta and cause miscarriage, as well as damage the embryo and cause implantation failure. Natural killer cells, which help to keep the body from developing cancer, can over-populate the uterus or exist at too high levels within the blood stream. These cells then go overboard, killing the embryo or interfering with the endocrine system that produces the hormones that are essential for pregnancy." 
http://www.fertility-academy.co.uk/recurrent-failure/immune-testing-for-infertility/


Now to add to the controversy, I have been told to start taking them from ET but having done my own research, I believe that taking them sooner will be more beneficial. My research is of many cycles by other ladies undergoing immune treatment by various clinics/doctors.

Immune problems and testing are complicated but if you are interested here are a few links of further reading to help out:

Alan E Beer - http://www.repro-med.net/repro-med-site2/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=51&Itemid=31

Dr A Gorgy - http://www.fertility-academy.co.uk/about-us/dr-a-gorgy/

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=242395.0

http://www.ivfauthority.com/2011/05/understanding-immunologic-implantation_16.html

An Ode from my Hubby

The injections have started, phase 4 has begun.
The countdown is counting, could this be the one?

This is not the beginning, we are nearing the end.
Our life now has meaning, could we be on the mend?

Our house has been discovered, a home that seems just right.
We've waited a while, is the end now in sight?

It hasn't been easy, our journey's been hard.
We've stumbled and fallen, was it worth all the sharps?

The Secret says believe me, just ask for your dreams.
We worry and wonder, is that really what it means?

Our love has not faltered, our lives are the same.
But we still have to ask, will our love still remain?

The questions keep coming, the answers seem hard.
So maybe, just maybe, we should consider the past.

Yesterday, love healed us, it wiped away our tears.
And so tomorrow, it will remind us, there was no need to fear.

The answers should be simple, the answers - they're all the same.
Yes is the answer and yes, it WILL BE worth all the pain.

Happiness through simple things

Today is a good day and it's only 1 o'clock! I've had a half decent sleep, been to Zumba and I've done my nails with new  Jessica nail polish:

Hubby is due home tonight and so I'm happy that I'll be having hugs and kisses tonight.

IVF Diet

It's important what you eat and drink while doing IVF. I eat healthily most of the time anyway but make an extra effort during my treatment - thanks to my Hubby's help and cooking!

For the first part of my cycle (during my period) I eat foods rich in iron such as eggs, spinach and broccoli. I also take a liquid iron supplement called Flurodix:

 Also I include foods rich in Vitamin C as these help with iron absorption - cataloupe melons, strawberries, potatoes, tomatoes and peas.

During the next part of the cycle, up to egg collection, it is important to eat protein. I am a vegetarian and so I don't get the protein from meat. I eat chickpeas (in curry and hummous - yum yum), baked beans, milk, lentils, eggs, nuts and protein shakes. Vitamin E is also important at this stage as it is found in the fluid around the developing eggs and is important for their nourishment. Vitamin E can be found in sweet potatoes, leafy greens, nuts, seeds and whole grains.

Throughout the cycle I drink plenty of water, herbal teas, milk and shakes.

My big thing for the past few months has been eating blueberries on my cereal. Blueberries are full of antioxidants which are essential for combating free radicals that can damage cellular structures as well as DNA, and they are better than just having plain Shreddies in the morning.

I still have treats and today my friend's 3 year old daughter insisted that I had a fairy cake that she'd made - so of course I had to oblige. I also had to oblige when asked if I wanted an ice-cream after a hot day strolling around Drayton Manor Thomas Land.

Jabbing - Day 1

Hubby did my 1st injection today - 450 Gonal F in the tummy. It's was abfab, they're not a problem anymore, I'm used to them which is good really as he is away for a few days now so I'll be doing them myself.
It's good to get going and I did some positive visualisation today. I added the number '9' to my visualisation board, that is how many follicles with eggs I want.

Hubby also made me lots of healthy, scrummy food and snacks - he looks after me so well! I also went to Zumba this morning and Body Balance this evening. Those classes should make up for the fact that I've done nothing since Saturday!

Feel a bit sorry for Hubby today as my positivity seems to be working and he's had a few bits of bad luck. Firstly his car had to go back to the garage for the third time but is fixed now. The blender broke when he was making us smoothies after the gym, and he's only had it since April - luckily I remembered where the receipt was and we were able to go get a new and hopefully better one. Then he had to fix the washing machine after I had left three hair grips in a pocket and they were stuck in it - oops! Ah well, all sorted now!

Well I'm off to bed now and I'm going to put a hot water bottle on my tummy for 20mins while I read - I know that sounds like madness in this heat but it increases blood flow to the lower abdomen to help all the follicles and womb lining grow!

Game On!

My period turned up today and so I went to the clinic and had a baseline scan which showed I was ready to start - yipee! I asked for an antral follicle count and I have about 9 altogether which is how many eggs I got last cycle, so I am happy to get the same amount but you always hope there is going to be more to give you a better chance.
I will start the Gonal F injections tomorrow 450iu once a day. Then back for my first scan on Monday to see how many follicles are growing and how big they are, also to see if I need to start the Cetrotide injections to stop me ovulating before Egg Collection.

On the way back from the clinic we stopped off at the garden centre and bought a tiny cactus, which we are going to nurture and grow alongside our baby:

I got my toenails done today (Minx) so that everytime I look at my feet I can smile:

This evening we went for our hotair balloon ride, our 7th attempt in 13months, and it was too windy! I'm hoping that I'll have to postpone it now for at least 9 months!

Tonight I will be reading my latest book - Chicken Soup For The Expectant Mother's Soul, if it's any good I'll add it to my favourites:

The Secret

This cycle I am trying to be as positive as I can be. I have recently read 'The Secret' and although I'm not normally into that sort of thing, I decided to give it a try. I want to be a happier and nicer person, who sees that the glass is half-full and not half- empty!

My Visualisation board that includes:

• pics of the house we are buying, where the nursery will be!
• Pics of possible nursery furnishings
• pics of positive pregnancy tests
• pics of a perfect blastocyst, 8 week scan , 11 week scan etc right through to new born
• pic of a baby carrier that hubby said he wanted
• pic of a cot that attaches to your bed
• pic of a preganant body in a bikini (how I want to be)
• A list of all the things I'm grateful for
• A babygro

Almost time for IVF#4

I've just come back from my acupuncture appointment - it is so nice to see Katrina again. I don't know whether the acupuncture actually does anything but just talking to Katrina helps, it's like a therapy session. Today Katrina said my kidney pulse was off balance and so I had about 3 needles inserted around my bellybutton. When she took them out I had a few seconds of weird tingling in my tummy, it must be doing something. I told Katrina that I had been really thirsty lately even though I was drinking lots of water and my rooibos Earl Grey tea. Katrina reminded me that IVF puts a strain on my kidneys so I really need to up my fluids intake. I'm sure she doesn't mean a pint of cider with your curry like I had last night (first drop of alcohol in ages).

Tomorrow I'm back to the clinic to start IVF #4. I thought I'd be starting today but my period hasn't shown up yet. I normally have a 29 day cycle but since IVF #3 in May my body is doing it's own thing. I do feel like my period is on it's way though and I hope it really is this time, ready for tomorrow!
I'm excited about starting it all again - I know a lot of ladies hate going through it all but if this is the only way we're going to have our child, I'm like "Bring it on!"
I have everything ready - the Gonal F, the Cetrotide, the Pregnyl, the Cyclogest and the Gestone. Well I say everything but I haven't sorted out the steroids yet, so hopefully I can get them sorted tomorrow while at the clinic.

Hubby has planned what we're eating for this week including what I'm to have while he is working away - he is an angel. Plenty of protein on the menu and generally majorly healthy foods as usual to help me grow good eggies!